The “Many” Adventures of BYOB:
Not to be confused with Bring Your Own Beer, but we are all over 21!
The List of Caricatures:
The Engineer: A.K.A….The Practical One… She wants to get to the specifics of everything, as her role denotes. Often referred to as the “active listener” in her group, she is always ready to learn. She loves roads and the citizens who use them. She has a strange fascination with banana spiders which may be a result of the banana spider named ‘Goldie’ living in her office. She is easily forgetful which often leaves her in undesirable predicaments. However, when she has an epiphany about her less desired predicament the strenuous Os follow. You will often her here saying (in a voice of realization) Oooooooooo!
The One with the Good Voice: The heartthrob of the group, her voice has the power to lure and destroy. She is handy to have about in conflicting situations because her voice often saves the day. She loves backrubs and holes. No one knows why she has this fascination with holes but this is her greatest weakness. She is married to “the patriotic one”. Sadly, this union with “the patriotic one” often causes problems between her and “the one consumed by her thesis.”
The High Fashion Nurse: The Jack of all Trades! She is intelligent, beautiful, an artist, singer, dancer, philanthropist, good friend, and nurse who participates in the occasional triathlon. Slightly intimidating upon first interaction, but is often understood as calm and collected. She is often perceived to be stoic but one soon learns that she has a heart full of compassion. She has this rather interesting obsession with Pit-bull that results in her randomly breaking out in song with the hope that someone will rap along with her. This usually ends in her receiving strange looks of suspicion. She secretly hopes that her life will one day be a musical, where she plays all the characters.
The “Other” Nurse: I think in some past life he wanted to be basketball player; unfortunately he was born white. He is the mighty leader of the BYOBers and he is much loved and appreciated by them all. He tries to assert his “coolness” through random occasions of wit and humor; however these situations do not always go as planned and more than often people are left questioning his intent. He is really tall and he loves “The Homemaker”. I think he still wants to be a basketball player.
The Adventurous One: Often found rocking out to Chuck Berry and other classic rock—he is what we call the contemporary idealist. He loves being outdoors and some even question whether he was raised by wolves or if he is a merman. Whatever his mysterious origins may be, one thing is for sure—he loves the South. You can always count on him to be the one to take risk; however his impulsive nature often leaves the BYOBers relying on “The One with the Good voice” to save them.
The One consumed by Her Thesis; In other words…. An English Grad Student. She is a neurotic, pessimistic perfectionist. She is paranoid about getting her work done on time which often results in her consuming large quantities of caffeine and forgetting to eat. Like many grad students in the humanities, she has a slight resemblance to a zombie. She has a devout connection to Russian Culture which neither she nor her peers understand. Those around her find her obsession with Russian to be slightly un-healthy and obnoxious. However “The High-Fashioned Nurse” finds this amusing.
The Ones who are Having Twins: They are having twins….nugh said and we hope they are boys!
The Patriotic One: Archnemesis of “The One Consumed by Her Thesis” He is very loud about his love for America which “The One Consumed by Her Thesis” often finds to be irritating. He is an enigma in more than one way because he often contradicts himself in culture, speech and beliefs. He dreams of being a rapper but he does not have enough swag. He likes graphic novels about American triumph and success and is really into science fiction and fantasy. He secretly wants to be a super-hero who likes to be called Uncle Sam! He lives in fantasy often constructed by the TV shows he watches.
The Cake-maker: She is sweet, lovable and fun. And she loves to bake cakes!!! She longs to become a professional cake constructer; however her current job would rather have her doing other things. She is often overworked but never complains and her friends find her a joy to be around. When she is not working she can be found planning her escape from the confinement of her current life with “Fiery Chica number 2”.
They are from Iceland: Admired because they are from Europe!!!! Sadly, not much else in known about them! In the mind of “The One Consumed by her Thesis” they are Russian (which is often validated by her trying to speak to them in a Russian accent). “The Patriotic one” and “The One with the Good voice” try to steal all of their time.
The Nole Lovers: Despite their love for the Seminoles, they are joy to be around. The male Nole often spends his time learning how to save lives while his wife is making delectable treats. They have a cute little Nole who likes to steal cups from individuals while they are trying to enjoy a nice liquidly beverage. Intrinsic to their nature, they often scream go Noles when surrounded by Gators…Ironically, everyone wants to be like them.
The Fiery Chica: As the name denotes, one finds pride in being around her. Often described as a flame in the night and the Jalapeño in salsa, she is a force to be reckoned with. She is spunky and speaks her mind. Although she is shaken by American culture and pride, she makes a complete parody of her peer’s situation. Understood to be the comic relief in the group, she knows more about American history than any of her peers.
The Medical Student: Intelligent, direct, and assertive. He commands the attention of a room. Secretly he lacks confidence, but he believes people will listen to him because he is a medical student. He is the husband of “The Fiery Chica”. He would also like to be a super-hero as he thinks it will add to his manly image.
Fiery Chica # 2: Ecstatic, fun, crazy, and lovable, she is the life of the party! She often speaks of her dreams to live in Latin America where she is married to a young Spanish peasant who “ironically” yearns for a better life in America. She is often excited about going salsa dancing, however this has yet to happen.
The Homemaker: Scarcely seen because her role demands lots of time. She is a wonderful mother of two and she takes good care of “The Other Nurse”. However, she secretly desires a night with the girls, a night in Paris and hiking in the Alps! She is also really tall—a basketball player in her past life.
The Perky Pharmacy Student: A social butterfly who likes to spend his Friday evenings at Perkins. If he is not busting a move on the dance floor, then you are not playing the right music. He often finds entertainment from old women strung out on meds, but we all have our kicks. He has a “rabid” talking bunny who secretly wishes to take over the world. Because of his long and happy days at work, he is quite oblivious to Simba’s (the bunny) plans of mass destruction.
Potential Minor Caricatures:
The PA student: Best Friend to “the one consumed by her thesis” sadly “The PA student” is just as paranoid and neurotic as her friend. Relives stress by hacking cadavers into pieces.
The Nursing Student: Shows up occasionally and lives with “The high fashion Nurse”. Hates Nursing School but does it because it will earn her cool points.
They have a Pirate for a Son: They have a pirate for a son and share a house with “The One consumed by Her Thesis” They often wonder if this was a mistake?
The One with Blonde Hair: Boy specimen, who is dating “The Younger PA student” He is an Engineer. He likes working on cars…. He finds oil stains to be attractive
The Theological Historian: Often wonders…. What am I doing with my Life? He is often found inquiring about the theological construction of history and religion. He hopes to develop a quantitative model that will represent his academic success rate.
